Saturday, June 18, 2016

How Do You End It?


If you're dating (or trying to date), I'd like your input:

Let's say you met someone, either through online dating or some other way. It seemed to have potential as you started to spend time together and get to know each other, but soon you realized it wasn't going to work out.

Which of these do you do?
  1. Say something like "I'm sorry, but I don't see us as a match," with a kind explanation. 
  2. Say something like "I'm sorry, but I don't see us as a match,", but with no explanation. 
  3. Give an explanation that you know will hurt, but will definitely end things. 
  4. Give the true reason you want to end it. 
  5. Make up an excuse, e.g. decided to get back with an ex, or not ready to date again, or ...? 
  6. "Ghost" or "fade away": you say nothing but don't get in touch or respond when the other person contacts you. 
  7. Other? (Please explain.) 

Now switch roles. If you've been on the receiving end of any of the above, which one(s) left you feeling okay? Awful? If rejection has to happen, how do you want to be rejected?

Do your answers change in any way if you and this new person have been sexual?

Please comment, and although you don't need to give your real name (please choose something other than "Anonymous"), please include your real age. I'd like to contrast the views of our over-50 age group with those younger.

I look forward to your comments!

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

The Pulse, the King of Penis Vibrators

6/14/16 update: At all my talks and workshops, and in private conversations with men who want to have satisfying sex despite erectile difficulties, I recommend The Pulse, the king of penis vibrators. I am bringing this review to the top in case you don't know about it. - Joan



6/30/15 update: There is an even newer version of this product -- The Pulse II -- which David Pittle reviewed. See his update below. Enjoy!

Presenting... The Pulse, a pulsing, oscillating, amazing vibrator for penises that does not require an erection for his pleasure!

That's right -- unlike other vibrating "sleeves," the penis does not have to be hard to start enjoying it. Spread open the flexible flaps, rest your penis in it, turn it on, and enjoy the sensations.

The fabulous folks at Smitten Kitten first showed me this vibrator, praising its qualities. The Pulse works for men of all ages, and it's especially splendid for pleasuring an older man. If you get erections erratically, this toy will make you hard. If erections are not in the picture, you'll still feel tremendous sexual pleasure.

Of course I had to get some men of our age to test the Pulse for us. You can imagine how easy it was to get three volunteers! These men all live in different places, and I wanted to give them each plenty of time to play and experiment, so I arranged with Hot Octopuss, the British manufacturer of the Pulse, to send one product, and the dear folks at Smitten Kitten sent two more.

Here's what my Pulse-pleasured guys told me:

Richard:
I'm a man, almost 58, who has had a number of sexual issues going back more than 8 years. Most of my issues -- temporary impotence, lack of sensation, pain with orgasm -- are because I'm a prostate cancer survivor who was treated surgically. Recently I've been able to resolve many of these issues. 

Given my past challenges, I've haven't taken a lot of time to explore penile sex toys beyond cock rings and therapeutic penis pumps. I wasn't sure what a toy could do for me anyway. But that changed with the Pulse! While not a traditional sleeve toy, it does deliver vibratory sensations to the penis. It has a number of speeds and intensities that are easily set by a lighted button. 

It has a unique feature where some of the vibrations are concentrated in a circular section that delivers an extra boost to the highly sensitive underside of the head of the penis. For me, it’s been a great erection builder. I've enjoyed taking the time to play and experiment with the various settings of intensity. 

Because I still have some limited sensation, I've not been able to reach orgasm using the Pulse exclusively. But it is a very pleasurable toy and has warmed me up to some very nice plateaus. It's made of hard plastic and high-grade non-toxic silicone. It can be used with or without lubricant, but is more effective as a "stroker" toy when used with lubricant. It's easily cleaned with a damp cloth.

Paul:
The Pulse is one toy that’s worth the money! . It has easy-to-use controls, fits nicely in the hand and has a coin-like, raised bump inside at just the right place. It feels wonderful! 

On the low setting, with a little water-based lube, this thing got me hard in no time. And this was after I’d had sex and a great orgasm earlier in the day. I’m over 50, so that’s saying a lot. The next day, this thing had me orgasming in minutes. 

Watch out if you get lube on the hand you’re holding it with though -- it can get slippery. It performs well, but does take a couple minutes to clean due to the ribs inside. A quick wipe with soap and water does the trick -- it can’t be submerged.

This is the only criticism I have: It comes with a USB charger cord but without an adapter to plug into a wall outlet. Fortunately I had one, and you can pick one up cheap. 

David M. Pittle, Ph.D (age 70+):
Most men’s sex toys seem to be some form of sleeve to simulate a vagina. The Pulse is different. Like the sleeves, it is a tube for the penis to enter, but it is open at the top with wings that bend out, so the penis can be simply laid into the tube on top of the strongest point of vibration. This creates the greatest sensations on the most sensitive part of the penis, the frenulum. 

This is an amazingly versatile sex toy. My experience with it was “five stars.” That puts it right up there with the Hitachi Magic Wand.

I was skeptical about the battery because battery toys that are powerful run down fairly rapidly. Ten or fifteen minutes of use and they need recharging. Not the case with the Pulse. In a tribute to battery engineers, the Pulse ran for four sessions of 15 to 20 minutes and was still going strong. 

This is a great product. The only criticism I have is that it can’t be immersed in water. The water will get into the battery compartment. That is somewhat minor, but given the price, a waterproof charging system would have been nice. 

Update: David received a sample of the new Pulse II Solo and had this to add:

There is a new king in town: The Pulse II Solo. First, the new model’s vibrations are not only stronger, but also feel more effective and include programmed patterns. Second, the vibrations come from a piston mechanism designed for penile stimulation. Third, it works longer per charge. There are many other improvements, but these are the most apparent. 

The Pulse II Solo maintains the open top with expanding wings. A flaccid penis can easily be inserted. As it responds to the vibratory stimulation, it becomes as hard as it can and continues to increase sensitivity. As this happens, those wings spread to accommodate the growth in girth. 

The vibratory plate, located under the penis glans at its most sensitive area, is large enough to continue to make contact during the expansion. There are many nerve endings at the base of the penis. The Pulse II Solo is able to simultaneously excite these nerves without losing touch with the nerves in the glans. 

As you can tell, I was excited by the original Pulse, but I’m an out and out fan of the Pulse II. It is without doubt the best vibrator sex toy for men with erectile challenges that I have seen. As a sex therapist often dealing with older men with erectile dysfunction, this is very important to me. I will certainly be recommending this product. 

I applaud the Hot Octopuss company which has taken pro-sex political stances and is promoting improved sex for seniors. Their blog entry, "Coming Of Age: Over-55s Most Sexually Satisfied" is worth reading.

(Sex therapist David Pittle reviews male sex toys for us. Read his other reviews here.)


Note from Joan:
The Pulse is amazing for men. It claims that the outer part also pleasures a woman partner for use by a couple together.

In my case, not so. The inside part that holds the penis is comfortable and stimulating for him, but the outside part that supposedly can stimulate the clitoris is mostly hard plastic and doesn't vibrate much, not the least bit sexy for me. Of course, your experience may vary, and another woman reported getting plenty of pleasure from it. [Note: This comment was based on testing the original Pulse. I'll update it when I've tested the Pulse II Duo, which I understand is greatly improved.]

My recommendation is to let the man use this on his own -- he'll love it, and he deserves a superb sex toy of his own!

See more about how the Pulse works here.

I hope you'll join me in thanking Smitten Kitten and Hot Octopuss for the sample products and for continuing to support my senior sex education work by ordering from directly.


Sunday, June 05, 2016

Joan's Upcoming Events


I'd love to meet you in person! As events are scheduled, I'll post them here.

If you are interested in having me speak at your event or to your organization, please email me. See more information about my aging and sexuality talks here, and testimonials from clients here. (I also speak about fitness -- click here.)






Thurs., August 4, 2016, 2:45 - 4:15 p.m.:  25 Tips for Sexy Aging!, Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit, Hilton Alexandria Mark Center, 5000 Seminary Road, Alexandria, VA 22311. No need to fear aging! Whether you’re 25 or 75, there’s plenty you can learn now to make sure that you age with a juicy attitude, sizzling orgasms, and strategies for staying sexually vibrant despite the challenges that the aging process and health issues throw your way — and despite our society’s limiting stereotypes. You don’t have to be a senior to learn from and enjoy this presentation!


Thurs, Sept. 15, 2016: 25 Tips for Sexy Aging!, Pleasure Chest LA, 7733 Santa Monica Blvd.West Hollywood, CA 90046. No need to fear aging! Whether you’re 25 or 75, there’s plenty you can learn now to make sure that you age with a juicy attitude, sizzling orgasms, and strategies for staying sexually vibrant despite what the aging process throws your way. You’ll learn practical tips and attitude adjustments to enrich your sex life lifelong – partnered or solo. Some are quick and easy, many will surprise you, and a few will take some practice and commitment. All will benefit you lifelong. You don’t have to be a senior to learn from and enjoy this presentation! Free!


Fri., Sept. 16 - Sun., Sept 18, 2016: 25 Tips for Sexy Aging!, CatalystCon West, Westin Los Angeles Airport, 5400 West Century Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90045. No need to fear aging! Whether you’re 25 or 75, there’s plenty you can learn now to make sure that you age with a juicy attitude, sizzling orgasms, and strategies for staying sexually vibrant despite what the aging process throws your way. You’ll learn practical tips and attitude adjustments to enrich your sex life lifelong – partnered or solo. Some are quick and easy, many will surprise you, and a few will take some practice and commitment. All will benefit you lifelong. You don’t have to be a senior to learn from and enjoy this presentation!


Fri., Sept. 30 - Wed., Oct. 5, 2016: Joan Price is a featured speaker at Well Over Fifty FestivalHotel Slovenska Plaža, Budva, Montenegro. The Age of Happiness conducts the second annual international festival to celebrate new opportunities of life after fifty. The festival takes place in Montenegro, near the sea. For one week, this event will bring together people who learned how to make their life after fifty brighter, better and more exciting than it was when they were young. They are athletes, designers, coaches, stylists, actors, singers, and travellers. They will come to have fun, to share their experience, and to tell their tricks that help them remain healthy, beautiful, and energetic and enjoy life like never before.


Sat, Oct. 8, 2016: Joan Price is the keynote speaker for the 4th annual Sex and Aging conference presented by Senior Services at Sibley Memorial Hospital, part of John's Hopkins Medicine, NW Washington DC. Details coming soon.


(schedule updated June 18, 2016)



TV, Internet interviews: Online Now


See Joan's recent television interviews here, including Fox News and Bay Sunday:







Recently completed events:


Sat., May 21, 2016,  9:30 to 10:45 a.m.: Blogging Isn’t Dead: How to Attract Readers, Followers, and the Media with a Blog that Breaks the RulesASJA Writers Conference, Roosevelt Hotel, New York City. Many of us have blogs, but are they effective, or just a time suck? A good blog attracts readers, gets readers involved with your topic and your message, promotes your books, increases your credibility in your field, and positions you as a media resource. What should you blog? How do you reach your audience? What are some tricks for engaging readers? How do you choose “evergreen” topics that people will search for and that will bring them to your blog even if they’ve never heard of you? What are the rules, and which ones should you break? Joan Price has been blogging about sex and aging since 2005. Her blog has won many awards and helped her get book contracts, book sales, speaking engagements, and media interviews. She shares her strategies in this practical, interactive presentation. If you never saw the sense in blogging, or if you have a blog but it feels like a waste of time, this workshop is for you. This is not a tech-oriented workshop – it’s about content, self-promotion, attracting and serving readers, and making your blog an integral – and enjoyable --part of your promotional strategy.


Sex Ed Events at Good Vibrations
Sunday, June 5, 2016, 3-5 pm: 25 Tips for Sexy Aging! at Good Vibrations, 1620 Polk Street (at Sacramento St.), San Francisco, CA 94109. (415) 345-0400. No need to fear aging! Whether you’re 25 or 75, there’s plenty you can learn now to make sure that you age with a juicy attitude, sizzling orgasms, and strategies for staying sexually vibrant. You don’t have to be a senior to learn from and enjoy this presentation! But most of us will live long enough to need to deal with the challenges the aging process and health issues throw our way, so get ready to live a life much fuller than society’s limiting stereotypes. Joan Price, author of The Ultimate Guide to Sex after 50 and advocate for ageless sexuality, shares tips and new information to put a zing in your sex life, partnered or solo. Joan answers all the questions you didn’t think you could ask out loud! $20 in advance; $25 at the door, as space allows. Please pre-register here.

Wed., May 18, 2016, 8-10 pm. The Pleasure Chest, 1150 2nd Ave, New York, NY 10065. 25 Tips for Sexy Aging. No need to fear aging! Whether you’re 25 or 75, there’s plenty you can learn now to make sure that you age with a juicy attitude, sizzling orgasms, and strategies for staying sexually vibrant despite what the aging process throws your way. Joan Price presents practical tips and attitude adjustments to enrich your sex life lifelong – partnered or solo. Some are quick and easy, many will surprise you, and a few will take some practice and commitment. All will benefit you lifelong. You don’t have to be a senior to learn from and enjoy this presentation!



Jewish Community Center of San Francisco's Profile PhotoTuesday, April 12, 2016, 6 - 8 pm: Sex After 50 with Joan Price at Jewish Community Center of San Francisco, Fisher Hall, 3200 California Street, San Francisco, CA 94118. Sex after 50 has its challenges, but it can be sizzling and satisfying. We'll address the challenges and celebrate the joys, sharing experiences and learning from each other in a spirit of candor, acceptance, creativity and humor. Take home new tools, techniques and attitudes for hot, joyful sex - with or without a partner.


Wednesday, March 30,  2016, 8 pm: The 5 Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging with Joan Price at The Pleasure Chest Chicago, 3436 North Lincoln Ave., Chicago, IL 60657. Joan shatters the myths and shares the most common questions that Boomers, seniors, and elders ask her. She'll answer those questions, too — in the candid, upbeat manner that led the media to dub her the "senior sexpert." Free. Attendance is on a first come, first served basis. Early arrival is recommended to secure your spot! Info 773-525-7151.



CatalystCon Midwest '16April 1-3, 201625 Tips for Sexy AgingCatalystCon Midwest, Hyatt Regency O’Hare, 9300 Bryn Mawr Avenue, Rosemont, Illinois 60018. No need to fear aging! Whether you’re 25 or 75, there’s plenty you can learn now to make sure that you age with a juicy attitude, sizzling orgasms, and strategies for staying sexually vibrant despite what the aging process throws your way. Joan Price presents practical tips and attitude adjustments to enrich your sex life lifelong – partnered or solo. Some are quick and easy, many will surprise you, and a few will take some practice and commitment. All will benefit you lifelong. You don’t have to be a senior to learn from and enjoy this presentation! Joan's session is Sat., April 2, 12:30-1:40 pm, and you'll want to attend the whole conference!



Monday, April 4, 2016, 8 am-5 pm: Milwaukee SHARE Health Care Providers DayAlverno College Conference Center, 3400 S 43rd St., Milwaukee, WI 53219. What Aren’t They Talking About? Sex and Identity in Clinical Practice. This special one-day conference for health care providers will focus on the sexual health and well-being of four distinct groups of people (seniors, people with disabilities, transgender patients, and people with diverse sexual backgrounds) who are often uncomfortable discussing their intimate lives in health care settings. This event will provide context and sensitivity for health care providers when working with these populations. Sponsored by The Tool Shed. Session descriptions here. Cost: $100. Registration here.

The Tool Shed: An Erotic Boutique

Tuesday, April 5, 2016, 8-10 pm: Ask Me, I'll Tell You: Talking Out Loud about Sex & Aging at The Tool Shed, 2427 N. Murray Ave, Milwaukee, WI 5321. Yes, there are challenges to satisfying sex after 50, 60, 70 and beyond – but for every problem, there is a solution. Sex has changed but it can still be spicy and very satisfying, with the right information, creativity, and a sense of humor. Joan Price,  senior sex author and advocate, shares tips and new information to put a zing in your sex life, partnered or solo. Joan answers all the questions you didn’t think you could ask out loud. An eye-popping, interactive, empowering mixed-gender workshop designed to help you have great sex through the years ahead. For couples and singles, all genders.


Sunday, November 8, 2015, 10:30 am - 12 pm: Oakmont Sunday Symposium, 7902 Oakmont Drive, Santa Rosa, CA. What Your Doctor Doesn’t Tell You (and Probably Doesn’t Know) about Sex after 60: Tips for increasing blood flow and arousal without pills; ways to work around arthritis limitations; how sex toys for women and men can increase sexual satisfaction; how to increase desire in long-term relationships; why orgasms are really good for you, either partnered or solo – sex educator Joan Price returns to spill all these secrets in her warm and lively manner. Bring your friends – and your doctor! Oakmont Sunday Symposium is open to all Oakmont residents and their invited guests.


Tuesday, November 10, 2015, 1-2:30 pm: How the Heck Do I Date at This Age? at San Francisco Villagean aging-in-place membership organization for people over 60 in San Francisco, Institute on Aging, 3575 Geary Blvd. at Arguello. You’re ready to connect for dating, sex, love, companionship – but dating as a senior feels awkward and downright weird. What are the guidelines? How do you meet people? Do you have to use online dating? (If so, how do you navigate writing your profile and weeding through the responses?) How do you avoid the pitfalls that can send potential dates running in the other direction? When do you bring up safer sex, your personal sexual issues, or sex at all? Whether you’re widowed, divorced, or a longtime single, you’ll find this interactive workshop illuminating and fun, and you’ll get to find out how other single seniors meet and mate (or try to). All genders and orientations welcome. Bring paper and pen or a laptop -- and a sense of humor. Free goodies: lubricant samples and condoms, for when you need them!


October 13, 2015, 1-2:30 pm: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex at San Francisco Villagean aging-in-place membership organization for people over 60 in San Francisco, Institute on Aging, 3575 Geary Blvd. at Arguello. Yes, there are challenges to satisfying sex after 50, 60, 70 and beyond – but for every problem, there is a solution -- with the right information, creativity, and a sense of humor. Learn tips and new information to put a zing in your sex life, partnered or solo. You’ll take home new tools, techniques, and maybe a new attitude. It’s never too late for arousal and satisfaction – whether you’re partnered, dating, or on your own.  Bring your questions!


October 17, 2015, 7:15-815 pm: Lit Crawl San Francisco presents 101 literary readings and events along the Valencia St. corridor in the Mission District from 6 to 9:30 pm. Christopher Zeischegg and Joan Price will be reading from Best Sex Writing 2015 (and Joan might also read from The Ultimate Guide to Sex after 50 7:15-815 pm at Five and Diamond , 510 Valencia Street (at 16th), San Francisco, CA. Free.


Monday, September 7, 7-9 pm: Ask Us About Sex after 50! with Joan Price and Linda Kirkman at Hares and Hyenas, 63 Johnston Street, Fitzroy, Victoria 3065, Australia. Yes, sex after 50, 60, 70 and beyond has its challenges: health issues, a solo life, the predictable sex that comes with longtime relationships, discomfort with changing bodies, lack of desire, dating at our age. But sex after midlife can also be hot and joyful if we learn, adapt, and explore what works for us. Let’s throw out the stereotypes and the old expectations that may not serve us anymore. We’ll cover relationship diversity, sexual health, fitting bodies together when they don't function or feel like they used to, and much more. Joan and Linda will debunk the myths, answer your questions, and send you home new tools, techniques, and attitudes to help you experience sizzling and satisfying sex -- with or without a partner. If you are over 50, or you plan to be, or you work with the older population, you’ll get your questions answered in this lively presentation. Tickets $25AUD/$20AUD in advance, or $30AUD at door.


September 8-9, 2015: Joan Price is a keynote speaker for the inaugural conference Let’s Talk About Sex at the Pullman Melbourne on the Park, 192 Wellington Parade, Melbourne VIC 3002,  Australia. Sponsored by Alzheimer’s Australia Vic and Council of the Aged. The inaugural Let’s Talk About Sex Conference aims to challenge many of the assumptions, taboos and stereotypes when it comes to older people and sexual intimacy. The failure to acknowledge sexuality and ageing has left many older people deprived of their right to a satisfying and fulfilling sex life. This Conference will promote discussion that aims to improve the health and emotional wellbeing of older people through recognition of their rights to sexual expression. It will challenge society’s failure to acknowledge sexuality and ageing. Topics such as sexual and gender diversity, sexual consent and sexuality among people with cognitive impairment will be discussed as we highlight the importance of relationships and intimacy as we age. It will also address the challenges encountered by carers in residential and community care.


September 10, 2015, 12:45-1:45 pm: Joan Price: Naked at Our Age  at the Wheeler Centre, 176 Little Lonsdale St., Melbourne Victoria 3000 Australia. ‘If you want your sexual exuberance to match mine three decades after age 40, start listening to your elders’. That’s the advice American author Joan Price gave to Miley Cyrus in a 2013 open letter, after Cyrus announced that over-40s don’t have sex. In 2011, Price wrote Naked at Our Age: Talking out loud about senior sex, which explored the challenges, delights, surprises and frustrations of sex for older people. The book was praised for its warmth and humour as well as its practical, no-nonsense advice. Price will talk about sex – and seniors – with Australian sex therapist, educator and media commentator Cyndi Darnell. Join us for a candid, funny, grown-up and possibly sexy conversation. Free, reservations recommended.


Mon., Sept. 14, 2015, 5:30-7:30 pm, Ask Us About Sex after 50! with Joan Price and Linda Kirkman at Visual Arts Centre, 21 View St., Bendigo, Vic 3550, Australia. Yes, sex after 50, 60, 70 and beyond has its challenges: health issues, a solo life, the predictable sex that comes with longtime relationships, discomfort with changing bodies, lack of desire, dating at our age. But sex after midlife can also be hot and joyful if we learn, adapt, and explore what works for us. Let’s throw out the stereotypes and the old expectations that may not serve us anymore. We’ll cover relationship diversity, sexual health, fitting bodies together when they don't function or feel like they used to, and much more. Joan and Linda will debunk the myths, answer your questions, and send you home new tools, techniques, and attitudes to help you experience sizzling and satisfying sex -- with or without a partner. If you are over 50, or you plan to be, or you work with the older population, you’ll get your questions answered in this lively presentation. Tickets $20AUD/$15AUD. For more info, email Linda Kirkman.


Wed., Sept. 16, 2015, 6:30-8:30 pm, What Your Clients are NOT Asking You about Sex: Talking About Senior Sex for Medical Professionals and Therapists, presented by the Society of Australian Sexologists. About half of all sexually active men and women aged 57 to 85 in the United States report at least one bothersome sexual problem; one third report at least two. Yet only 38 percent of men and 22 percent of women reported having discussed sex with a health professional since the age of 50. Why this information barrier? What can you, as professionals, do to overcome it with your patients and clients? Joan Price shares their changing sexual needs, problems, and fears, and what they wish their doctors, therapists, and other professionals and educators would help them resolve. Joan will address the 'extra mile' that sex therapists can go in helping their clients/patients. Venue: Level 3, 50 York Street, Sydney, Australia. $20AUD for SAS Members; $30AUD for non-members. RSVP sas-nsw@societyaustraliansexologists.org.au or drop-in.


Mon., Sept. 21 and Tues., Sept. 22, 2015, 7-9 pm: Great Sex after Fifty: two workshops with Joan Price, author of The Ultimate Guide to Sex after 50. Sydney's Max Black presents author and educator Joan Price (USA) appearing in-store at Max Black  264 King St, Newtown NSW 2042, Australia, for two very special workshops designed to help you navigate the world of sex, dating and relationships after 50. These intimate and fun workshops will give you the chance to ask questions and get answers. Tickets: $20AUD here. Please arrive at 6:45 and settle in with a glass of champagne.

  • Sept. 21: Ask Me, I'll Tell You: Talking Out Loud about Sex & Aging: Sex after 50 - the challenges, pleasures and answers to all the questions we don’t think we can ask out loud. Sex has changed but it can still be spicy and very satisfying, with the right information. An eye-popping, interactive, empowering mixed-gender workshop designed to help you have great sex after 50, 60, 70 & beyond.

  • Sept. 22: How the Heck Do I Date at This Age? Dating after 50 can feel awkward & weird. What are the guidelines? Should you lie about your age? How do avoid pitfalls & handle rejection? What about safer sex with a new person? Whether you’re widowed, divorced or a longtime single this fun workshop will be illuminating, plus you’ll find out how others our age meet & mate.


August 14, 2015: Sexuality and Aging Institute in Washington, D.C. "What Your Clients are NOT Asking You about Sex": About half of all sexually active men and women aged 57 to 85 in the United States report at least one bothersome sexual problem; one third report at least two. Yet only 38 percent of men and 22 percent of women reported having discussed sex with a physician since the age of 50 years. Why this information barrier, and what can you, as professionals, do to overcome it with your patients and clients? Joan Price shares what her readers and interviewees, age 50-80+, express about their changing sexual needs, problems, and fears, and what they wish their doctors, therapists, and other professionals and educators would help them resolve.

The Institute will be held as the first day of the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit at the Hilton Alexandria Mark Center.



August 14-16, 2015: Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom Summit in Alexandria, VA. The Sexual Freedom Summit features human rights activists, sexuality educators and researchers, professionals from the legal and medical fields, authors, sexual freedom movement leaders and organizational partners all working toward the time when sexual freedom is fully recognized as a fundamental human right. Joan Price presents "Let’s Talk about Senior Sex!" on Saturday, 8/15: You’ll learn the major sexual concerns that seniors may be reluctant to share with their medical providers and therapists, yet that impact their health and quality of life. Joan blasts the myths about sex and aging and gives you practical tips that will improve your senior clients’ sexual satisfaction. We’ll formulate practical questions that will elicit essential sexual information and share ways of talking about sex that will be comfortable for both your client and you.

June 3, 2015, 8-10 pm: Ask Me, I'll Tell You: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex at Smitten Kitten, 3010 Lyndale Ave S., Minneapolis, MN 55408, 612-721-6088. In this illuminating workshop, you'll get to voice your questions and get answers from none other than senior sex and dating expert, Joan Price. We'll talk about the challenges, the pleasures and all the questions we didn't think we could ask out loud. Free!



June 7, 2015, 8-10 pm: Lusting, Mating and Dating At Any Age! at Smitten Kitten, 3010 Lyndale Ave S., Minneapolis, MN 55408, 612-721-6088. You’re ready to connect with the right person (or persons) for dating, sex, love, companionship -- so how can you find other singles who attract and interest you? How do you present yourself in the world of online dating, and avoid mistakes that send potential matches running in the other direction? Learn the Big Three Mistakes that most singles make whether they’re 25, 45, or 75 -- and what to do instead. Free!
Saturday, April 25, 2015 1:00-2:30 pm, Presentation and Discussion with Joan Price on Sexuality and Aging at Central Reform Congregation, 5020 Waterman Blvd,  St.Louis,Mo 63108, corner of Waterman and Kingshighway. RSVP by emailing Kassi Corley. Sponsored by Sex Positive St. Louis (SEX+STL), a community resource for people in the St. Louis metro area.



joanpricebannerSunday, April 26, 2015, 9:45-10:45 am, Let’s Talk about (Senior) Sex! The Ethical Society of St. Louis, 9001 Clayton Rd., Saint Louis, MO 63117-1003.  Joan Price, author of the new The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50: How to Maintain – or Regain! – a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life, shares tips and new information to put a zing in your sex life, partnered or solo. Yes, there are challenges to satisfying sex after 50, 60, 70 and beyond – but for every problem, there is a solution -- with the right information, creativity, and a sense of humor. Sponsored by Sex Positive St. Louis (SEX+STL), a community resource for people in the St. Louis metro area.


Monday, April 27, 2015, 6-8 pm, Brown Lounge, George Warren Brown School of Social Work, Washington University in St. Louis, MO,  Joan Price talks to students and AASECT members about senior sex. Sponsored by Sex Positive St. Louis (SEX+STL), a community resource for people in the St. Louis metro area.


Senior-Planet-Exploration-Center-Interior
Wednesday, April 292015, 6-7:30 pm, Senior Sex: The 8 Questions You Wish You Could Ask at Senior Planet, 127 W 25th St, New York, NY 10001, between 5th and 6th Ave. Sex at our age can be the best of our lives, if you can adapt, accept, and explore what works for you. It can be challenging: health issues, a solo life, the predictable sex that comes with long marriages, discomfort with your changing bodies, dating at our age - all these and more can get in the way of pleasurable sex. In this talk, Joan Price answers  the 8 most frequently asked questions about senior sex and our aging bodies: How can I spice up my sex life? What's the point if I'm never in the mood? How can we speed things up? And other questions you've always wanted to ask. Free, reservation required here.



Saturday, May 2, 2015, 4-6 pm, Free Sex Advice in the Park, SW corner of Union Square Park, closest to 14th and Union Square W, New York City, with Francisco Ramirez and Joan Price. Bring your questions, get answers! No charge, no judgments, just two lively sex educators answering your burning questions.



Sunday, May 3, 2015, 6-8 pm, Let’s Talk about Senior Sex at Pleasure Chest Upper East Side, 1150 2nd Ave, New York, NY 10065. Yes, sex after 50, 60, 70 and beyond has its challenges, but it can also be hot and joyful. Joan Price, senior sex expert and author of the new Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50: How to Maintain – or Regain! – a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life, will answer your questions and address your concerns. Take home new tools, techniques, and attitudes to help you experience sizzling and satisfying sex --with or without a partner! If you are over 50--or you plan to be--here’s what you want to know. (All genders & orientations welcome.) Free!

Friday, March 27 - Sunday, March 29, 2015Elders Panel: “How Did We Get Here?" CatalystCon East, Hilton Crystal City Hotel, Arlington, VA, moderated by Joan Price. Carol Queen, Robert Morgan Lawrence, and Terri Clark are lively and influential sex educators who have been activists for sexual expression and acceptance since the sixties and seventies. They’ll discuss these topics and more:
  • How we were expected to behave and hide when we were young, and what happened to those who didn’t; 
  • What sexual awareness/ activism was like in the sixties and seventies; 
  • Why the sexual liberation and feminist movements were so important then and still are now; 
  • Why the younger generation(s) need to understand what our pioneers accomplished for us; 
  • What generational riffs we see now and how we can bridge the gap together. 
  • Learn about the history behind your sexual liberation, which would not have happened without the trailblazing efforts of people like our panelists.

Sunday, March 15, 2015, 2:30-3:30 pm:  "Never Too Late to Date" at the Tucson Festival of Books, Student Union, Catalina room. Newly single and terrified of dating again? Afraid you forgot how to flirt? Not looking forward to going to a bar and getting picked up (or picking up) someone? Wondering whether you should try online dating, or can you still put a personal ad in the local rag?Ann Anderson Evans, author of Daring to Date Again, and Joan Price, author of Naked at Our Age and The Ultimate Guide to Sex after Fifty, offer advice, insights and personal stories for people young and old looking to rekindle their love lives.


Tuesday, February 3, 2015, 7 pm: Valentine's Day Lovefest with Joan Price at Copperfield's Books, 138 North Main Street, Sebastopol, CA 95472. Joan reads excerpts from The Ultimate Guide to Sex After Fifty and sends you home with tips you can use right now to enhance your sexual pleasure, partnered or solo.


Thursday, February 5, 2015, 6:30 pm: Ultimate Guide to Sex After Fifty Book Party at Good Vibrations, 1620 Polk Street, San Francisco, CA 94109. Joan reads excerpts from The Ultimate Guide to Sex After Fifty. Come meet Joan in person and learn how to enjoy your sexuality for the rest of your life!


Friday, February 6, 2015, 7 pm: Joan Price at Book Passage, 51 Tamal Vista Blvd, Corte Madera, CA 94925. “Sex changes with aging, but for every problem, there is a solution,” says Joan Price, “senior sexpert” for the over-fifty population. The Ultimate Guide to Sex After Fifty delivers solid, practical information in a friendly, accessible style to help all genders and orientations, partnered or unpartnered, enjoy their sexuality for the rest of their lives. View Book Passage's Jan-Feb 2015 newsletter here.



Sunday, 2/15, 3-5 pm: Let’s Talk about (Senior) Sex! at Gaia’s Garden, 1899 Mendocino Avenue, Santa Rosa, CA 95401, winner of best vegetarian restaurant in Sonoma County from the North Bay Bohemian for four years in a row. Joan Price, author of the new The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50: How to Maintain – or Regain! – a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life, shares tips and new information to put a zing in your sex life, partnered or solo. Yes, there are challenges to satisfying sex after 50, 60, 70 and beyond – but for every problem, there is a solution -- with the right information, creativity, and a sense of humor. No charge for Joan’s talk, but Gaia’s Garden requests $5 minimum in purchases: have lunch before or dinner afterwards, or enjoy desserts, wine, beer, coffee, tea, cacao, and more. Joan’s books will be available for sale before and after her talk. Bring your questions!


Sunday, October 5, 2014, 10:30 am. Joan Price shares “The Five Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging” at the Oakmont Symposium, East Recreation Center, 7902 Oakmont Drive, Santa Rosa, CA. Open to Oakmont residents and invited guests. Audio of this presentation available here.


Friday, October 17 - Sunday, October 19, 2014free sex and aging workshops with Joan Price at Smitten Kitten, 3010 Lyndale Ave S., Minneapolis, MN 55408, 612-721-6088.
  • Fri, Oct. 17, 7:00 - 8:30 pm,  Ask Me, I’ll Tell You: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex.
  • Sat, Oct 18, 7:00 - 8:30 pm, Lusting, Dating and Mating for all ages! This one is not just for the over-50 crowd. Mixer follows!
  • Sun, Oct 19, 6:30 - 8:30 pm, Talking About Senior Sex (a presentation for medical professionals).



Thursday, Sept. 11 - Sunday, Sept. 14, 2014CatalystCon West at Westin Los Angeles Airport, 5400 West Century Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90045. In Senior Sex: Lusting, Dating, and Mating, Joan Price shares what Boomers, seniors, and elders tell and ask her. She interweaves her own personal stories, from finding love in later life, to dealing with grief, learning how to date all over again, and re-emerging as a sexual being. For levity, Joan shares some of the oddest dating stories she’s been told. You don’t have to be a senior to learn from and enjoy this presentation!


Sunday, Sept. 14, 6-8 pm: The 5 Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging at The Pleasure Chest LA, 7733 Santa Monica Blvd, West Hollywood, CA 90046. Joan Price, author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, shatters the myths and shares the most common questions that Boomers, seniors, and elders ask her. She’ll answer those questions, too—in the candid, upbeat manner that led the media to dub her “senior sexpert.” Free!


Friday, Sept. 19 - Saturday, Sept. 20, 2014, 4th Annual Sexuality, Intimacy & Aging Conference at Widener University, Chester, PA. In Sure, Ask Me Anything: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, Joan Price shares the questions that Boomers, seniors, and elders ask her. A medical issue that interferes with sexual enjoyment? Boredom with a partner? Dating woes? How to choose sex toys that work with arthritic wrists and slow arousal? Most questions are deeply moving pleas for help about issues that often are not shared with their doctors, therapists, or even life partners. Conference presented by the  Sexuality and Aging Consortium.


Saturday, Sept. 20, 2014, 7-10 pmHow the Heck Do I Date at This Age? at BSA, 1 Scout Way, Doylestown PA 18901. Lusting, dating and mating, OH MY! Whether you’re widowed, divorced, recently unpartnered, or a longtime single, you’ll find this interactive workshop illuminating and fun, and you’ll get to find out how other singles over 50 meet and mate (or try to). Singles only, all genders and orientations welcome. Bring a notebook, a printout of your online profile if you have one, your questions, and a sense of humor. Free gifts for all attendees! $40, or bring a friend for $60 total. Presented by Susan Duval Seminars. Registration and more info here.


Sunday, Sept. 21, 2014, 2-5 pmSex after 50! A Women's Workshop at BSA, 1 Scout Way, Doylestown PA 18901. Yes, we all want it! Sex after age 50, 60, 70 and beyond has its challenges, but it can be SIZZLING and satisfying when you have the right information and strategies. We'll address the challenges and celebrate the joys, sharing experiences and learning from each other in a spirit of candor, acceptance, safety, creativity, and humor. Take home new tools, techniques, and attitudes for satisfying, joyful sex. In addition, Joan will share the 5 Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging, sharing the most common questions that people ask her. She’ll answer her answers in the candid, upbeat manner that led the media to dub her the “Senior Sexpert”! Learn about favorite sex toys for women our age -- Joan has tested them all! Women only, all orientations welcome. Free gifts for all. Bring a notebook, your questions, a spirit of curiosity, and a sense of humor.  $40, or bring a friend for $60 total. Presented by Susan Duval Seminars. Registration and more info here.

Sunday, August 3, 2014, 1:00 - 4:00 pm, How the Heck Do I Date at This Age? in Sebastopol, CA. You’re ready to connect for dating, sex, love, companionship – but dating as a senior feels awkward and weird. What are the guidelines? How do you navigate online dating, write a cool profile, avoid the pitfalls, and evade the creeps and weirdos? When do you bring up safer sex, your personal sexual issues, or sex at all? Whether you’re widowed, divorced, or a longtime single, you’ll find this interactive workshop illuminating and fun, and you’ll get to find out how other single seniors meet and mate (or try to). All genders and orientations welcome. Free gifts: Blossom Organics and Überlube lubricants, condoms, and more. Bring a notebook, a printout of your online profile if you have one, your questions, and a sense of humor. Bonus hour 4:00 - 5:00: Joan will help you revise your online dating profile. Cost: $40 prepaid by check or PayPal by July 28; $45 July 29-Aug 2.  Location is a private home in Sebastopol -- you'll get the address after you preregister.

Sunday, August 10, 2014, 1:00 - 4:00 pm, Women’s Workshop: Sex after 50 in Sebastopol, CA. Yes, sex after age 50, 60, 70 and beyond has its challenges, but it can be sizzling and satisfying when you have the right information and strategies. We'll address the challenges and celebrate the joys, sharing experiences and learning from each other in a spirit of candor, acceptance, safety, creativity, and humor. Take home new tools, techniques, and attitudes for satisfying, joyful sex—with or without a partner. Learn about favorite sex toys for women our age – Joan has tested them all! Women only, all orientations welcome. Free gifts: Blossom Organics and Überlube lubricants, and more. Bring a notebook, your questions, a spirit of curiosity, and a sense of humor. Bonus hour 4:00 - 5:00: Joan will be available for private consultations. Cost: $40 prepaid by check or PayPal by Aug. 4; $45 Aug. 5 - 9. Location is a private home in Sebastopol -- you'll get the address after you preregister.


Thursday, June 19 - Saturday, June 21, 2014free sex and aging workshops with Joan Price at Smitten Kitten, 3010 Lyndale Ave S., Minneapolis, MN 55408, 612-721-6088. Schedule:
  • Thurs., June 19th, 6:30 - 8:30 pm, Talking About Senior Sex (a presentation for medical professionals)
  • Fri., June 20th, 6:30 - 8:30 pm, Ask Me, I’ll Tell You: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex
  • Sat., June 21st, 6:30 - 8:30 pm, Lusting, Dating and Mating After Fifty

April 11-13, 2014Full Circle - the Art & Heart of Aging, a weekend festival in Burlington, VT. Full Circle is all about busting wide open the myths about aging and celebrating the journey to elderhood. The festival includes dance, theatre, art, comedy, music, and film as well as physical activities and interactive experiences, discussions, and workshops. .


April 23, 2014, Pleasure Chest New York - Upper East Side, 1150 2nd Ave, NY, NY 10065,  6-8 pm. Sex after 50 with Joan Price. Yes, sex after 50 has its challenges, but it can also be hot and joyful. We'll celebrate the joys and tackle the problems of older-age sexuality, sharing experiences and learning from each other in a spirit of candor, acceptance, and plenty of humor. Take home new tools, techniques, and attitudes to help you experience sizzling and satisfying sex --with or without a partner! If you are 50 and above--or you plan to be--here’s everything you wanted to know. (All genders &orientations welcome.) Free!


November 1, 2013, "Getting Your Mojo Back: Sex Tips for Women over 50." Is your sex life dull, predictable, unsatisfying, nonexistent? Yes, sex after fifty has its challenges, but it can also sizzle. Joan Price offers new information, tools, and tips that help women over fifty maintain or regain a healthy, satisfying sex life – with or without a partner.presented by Joan Price and Remi Newman, Women's Night Out, Kaiser Permanente, 401 Bicentennial Way, Santa Rosa, CA Medical Building East, Conference Rooms E-3, E-4, E-5.


Wednesday, June 01, 2016

Prism V: Gorgeous G-Spot Vibrator


There's a lot to love about the L'amourose Prism V. It is a curvaceous work of art that happens to be a deep, strong, and rumbly g-spot vibrator. It's smooth and ergonomically designed, and made out of body-safe silicone and ABS plastic. As powerful as the vibrations are, the Prism V is reasonably quiet. And it's completely waterproof!

The shape and faceted design are lovely, and it's easy to hold. Although you'll feel some vibrations in the handle, they're muted and not likely to aggravate arthritic wrists. The powerful vibrations stay where they belong -- in the bulb that rests against your G-spot and in slender part of the stem. You can hold it still and let the 5 patterns and 12 speeds do their magic, or you can rock, wiggle, or twist it, whatever you enjoy.

Good luck trying to see the controls without your reading classes or find them by touch, though. My trick: Make sure I have it set to the pattern and intensity that I want before inserting it. Otherwise, I'd never find them, especially with lubed fingers. See what I mean in the enlarged photo here? The "+" is at the top, the pattern selector is in the middle, and the "-" (almost invisible in the photo) is at the bottom.

For some older vaginas experiencing penetrative discomfort, the bulb may be too abruptly plump for comfortable insertion. At its widest, it's just under 1.5" in diameter. You be the judge of what's comfortable going in. Once the bulb is inserted, the stem part is very slim. Of course you'll want to use plenty of water-based lubricant.

The insertable length is 5 inches, but you'll only need to go deep enough to press the bulb against your G-spot, which for most of us resides only about 2-3 inches inside the vagina.

If you wish, you can even use the Prism V externally for clitoral stimulation. It's so comfortably ergonomic to hold that you'll enjoy experimenting with different ways to use it.



L'Amourose makes another similar model -- the Prism VII -- which is a dual-stimulation vibrator: its motor sends vibrations to the vagina and the clitoris via a little protruding arm. The Prism VII can also be used for anal insertion and prostate massage.

My experience with the Prism VII was underwhelming. I liked the slightly different shape of the insertable part -- it's more tapered than the Prism V, and slightly narrower. However, the clitoral arm just didn't deliver enough oomph, with the strongest, rumbly vibrations in the insertable part, and weaker, buzzier vibrations in the external part.

Besides that, the external arm is so small that it was difficult to get it positioned so that it even contacted the clitoris.  Other reviewers have reported this, too. That's a problem with dual-stimulation (aka "rabbit") vibrators: we're all different shapes and dimensions, and I rarely find one that works for my body. My recommendation if you have this experience, too: use two different vibrators at the same time, one internally and the other externally. (That's why we were created with two hands!)

Both models are rechargeable with a magnetic connection to a USB cord, included. Easy peasy. They come with a storage pouch.


Thank you, Smitten Kitten, for sending me the L'amourose Prism V and L'amourose Prism VII in return for an honest review. Thank you also for making it your mission to provide access to accurate sexuality education and body-safe, ethically produced products. I encourage my readers to read Smitten Kitten's "About Us" to learn why I love this store and the people who work there. They also support my work -- they've hired me to speak at their store multiple times, and as advertisers, they help to keep this blog running.


Preview







Monday, May 30, 2016

Senior Sex Classes, no travel required -- Interested?



5/30/16: I'm bringing this topic from 2/18/16 to the top again because I'd like to plan the first few seminars this summer. If you read it earlier and responded, I've revised it and added some new questions for you:

Let's talk sex by phone or computer! No, I'm not inviting you to have phone sex or webcam sex with me. I'm inviting you to hear a senior sex class and ask your questions -- via teleseminar or webinar.

Background: Many of you ask when I'll be in your area giving a speech or workshop. You want to learn my tips for sexy aging, or negotiate sex with a new partner, or spice up your long-time relationship, or figure out how to get back your desire for sex, or deal with online dating, for example.


I'm sorry, I get so many emails that I can't possibly answer every one. The answers are often in my books, but I know that many of you prefer a different way of learning, or you want more direct and personal answers to your questions. I do travel to give presentations in many cities (see my events schedule here), but I can't be everywhere.

If I'm not going to be in your area, would you be interested in attending a personalized seminar by phone or computer?

That means you'd listen to my class on the phone or computer and be able to ask questions and interact in a small group. You would pay a modest fee to attend, which would include a handout.

Here are some sample topics I'm considering offering:
·        Safer sex – why I need to care about this, tips for talking with a partner.
·        Great sex without erections – sex isn’t all about erections, what we and our partners need to understand about giving and receiving pleasure, no erection required.
·        Dating at my age – tips and insights for making it fun instead of scary and sad.
·        Online dating at my age – avoiding the mistakes that most people make.
·        Long-term relationships – how to spice it up again, recapturing desire and intimacy.
·        Non-monogamy/ polyamory/ friends with benefits – would this work for me?
·        Talking to my doctor about my sexual issues: when, why, how?
·        Solo sex is real sex – how to stay sexual without a partner.
·        Sex toys – do I need them? How do I choose?


Do some of these interest you? If so, here are some questions for you:

  1. Which topics would grab your interest? Examples above, or add your own. 
  2. Would you make time for an hour-long class, or would you prefer 30 or 45 minutes? 
  3. Would you prefer a teleseminar (via phone only, no computer required, audio only) or a webinar (via computer, audio and video -- you can see me speaking to you)?
  4. Would you be more likely to attend live, with the option of asking your questions, or listen to a recording on your own schedule?
  5. What country, state, time zone do you live in?

You can answer in the comments section here, or -- better -- email me so that I can contact you when I've finalized details. If you want to be on my mailing list for dates and topics, please email me with "seminar" in the subject line. I look forward to hearing from you!


2/19/16 update: Thank you for the emails I'm receiving! Clearly you're interested. If you've already emailed me, I'll be on touch. If not, please do! Let me know which topics interest you especially. Write to me here. Subject line: Teleseminar. -- Joan

Sunday, May 15, 2016

Solo Sex is Real Sex

In honor of May -- Masturbation Month -- I'm reminding you of this post, originally written for Valentine's Day, February 2016.  

"We need to acknowledge that solo sex is real sex," I asserted, and ten people in the audience quoted me on Twitter immediately. I was speaking at the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit in August 2015. This was my first time attending Woodhull, and it was an amazing experience:

The Sexual Freedom Summit features human rights activists, sexuality educators and researchers, professionals from the legal and medical fields, authors, sexual freedom movement leaders and organizational partners all working toward the time when sexual freedom is fully recognized as a fundamental human right.

It seems to me that "sexual freedom" includes freeing ourselves from our society's outdated notions, especially as they restrict us, as seniors, from full sexual expression.  No one is standing at our bedroom door proclaiming, "Thou shalt not masturbate" -- at least I hope not -- but many of us have internalized the idea that giving ourselves sexual pleasure is wrong, or a depressing substitute for "real" -- aka "partner" -- sex.

At our age, accepting self-pleasuring as "real" sex is even more important than it was in our youth. Here are some reasons:

  1. Many of us do not have a sexual partner at this time of our lives.
  2. Many of us who do have a partner are not able to have full sexual expression with that partner, due to medical or relationship issues.
  3. Our retreating hormones and decreased blood flow make it easy to forget about sex because there's less urgency. Yet the less we experience arousal and orgasm, the more difficult it is to get there when we want to.
  4. Our responses change as we age, and the most direct way to stay in tune with what we need for sexual pleasure is to experiment with our own hands -- and, of course, sex toys.
  5. Sexual arousal and orgasm are good for physical and emotional health. In The Ultimate Guide to Sex after 50, I list 33 reasons why sex is good for you -- and by sex, I mean with or without a partner.

For those of you who would tell me (as people do, surprisingly), "Hey, masturbation is inferior to sex with a loving partner," I would answer, "There's nothing inferior about sex with the person who knows you best." Plus the obvious -- "How nice that you have a loving partner. Many of us don't."

Whether we're pleasuring ourselves because it's sex with ourselves or no sex, or we enjoy private sex, or maybe we just want to have fantasy sex with Jeffrey Dean Morgan, let's agree that solo sex is not only real sex -- it's delightful sex.

Readers of my Naked at Our Age Facebook page (which I hope you'll "like"), had this to add:
  • We are 58 and 57 and we both enjoy solo sex. Sometimes, we do it together. Watching can be quite erotic but more often, we'll do it before bed (usually separately in that case) to help us sleep. Mrs. has a variety of vibrators and we're both definitely in favor. - Mr. and Mrs. Average Joe, erotica authors

  • I'm a 67 y.o. man, and in the famous words of Woody Allen, I'm good at sex (with women) because I practice a lot when I 'm alone. (;-). Seriously, it has a lot to do with why I'm still so erotically alive. And yes, incorporating mutual self-stimulation into play with partners is really exciting, and in some ways can feel even more emotionally intimate than PIV [penis in vagina].

  • I'm 53. I have been going solo for.the past 11 years (not by choice), now that I am single I am looking forward to having a partner once again. The solo sex has been a necessity!

  • I am 50. In my community sex is forbidden to singles and there is controversy about whether masturbation, therefore, is 'sinful.' My stance is masturbation is not sinful and not forbidden to those of us who are unmarried. I think "Solo Sex is Real Sex" but my Christian community may not accept such a statement. 

  • I am 58 and flown solo for quite a few years. On the one hand, it's nice because I know all the best places and the exact technique. On the other, it's obviously not as much fun as having a partner. However, that's not always possible and I much prefer it over climbing into bed with a jerk. I wish I had more money for some of the great toys you've shown. I might never want a partner again if I did.
As Valentine's Day approaches (note: I originally wrote this post for Valentine's Day) and we're bombarded with commercial messages about how to make the day more romantic with our loved one (soft lighting, mellow music, gifts of chocolate and roses included), let's remember this:

Love starts with how we feel about ourselves, how giving and patient and accepting and loving we can be with the person who's been in our life the longest. Let's celebrate that with our own special touch (so to speak).

As always, I invite you to comment.*

*But please don't try to spam my blog by promoting products, vendors, or escorts. And please, don't try to use this blog as a hook-up opportunity by posting your phone number and an offer to my readers. Enough of that, folks! That's why I moderate comments.