Monday, July 28, 2014

Dating Advice to Men Over 50, 60, 70+

7/28/14: I wrote this in 2010. I'm updating it now, with a few more years of experience with dating as a senior. Here's what I said in 2010, with updates italicized in blue.

Yes, I've started online dating, and I'm actually enjoying it.

I realize that my enjoyment goes hand in hand with not having anything at stake, no big expectations. I'm not looking to replace Robert (couldn't be done even if I wanted to, which I don't) or find someone to give my life meaning and joy (my life already has meaning and joy). I want to bring more male energy into my life, meet new people, get out, have new experiences. If that results in connecting with someone wonderful, that's a big bonus.

I wrote this on a message board for women over 50 in response to one person who was scared to date:

If you think of dating as your way to learn about another person and about yourself without risking anything, it can be fun -- go for coffee or a walk or dinner with someone new, talk, see what you both enjoy discussing and doing. It's when you think of dating as auditioning a potential soul mate that it becomes fraught with anxiety, unpleasantness, and emotional danger.

First dates aren't scary to me in the least. I'm interested in learning what we do and don't have in common, and which of the divergences matter a lot. Plus, the writer in me loves hearing people's stories, and first dates are a great way to learn a huge amount in an hour, because it's expected that we share our stories.

Although I'm newly dating after almost ten years, I already have some strong opinions about online dating do's and don't's. (When did you ever know me to not have strong opinions?) Here are a few, aimed at men because that's my experience. I'm sure I'll add more as I proceed, and I encourage you to add your own. (Be constructive, not nasty, please.)


Advice for Men about Profile Photos

1. Please use a current image as your default photo. It's fine to include older photos also -- I love to see the long, bushy hair you wore in 1969!--but label them with the year, and make those secondary photos, not your main one.

2. Include at least one recently taken close-up of your face. Do. Not. Wear. Sunglasses.  I can't tell you how many profiles I skip over because the man is wearing sunglasses. I need to see your eyes. (I can't believe how many men wear sunglasses in their profile photos. Please, guys!)

3. Have a photo taken if you don't have one already. You don't need to go to a photography studio -- all your friends have digital cameras. Make your default photo just you -- no buddies on a fishing trip, no arms around a woman who might be your daughter or maybe your ex-wife, and absolutely no edited photo with the woman at your side cropped out (we can tell)!

4. Smile! Most of the profiles that men post show them either scowling or looking intently serious. I know that's because you're taking selfies and you don't want to put on your reading glasses to see the tiny screen. Ask someone else to take your photo, and smile as if you're glad to meet us.


Advice for Men about Your Profiles

1. Please give your real age and body build. If we'll eliminate you if you're older or heavier than attracts us, so be it -- that would happen once we met anyway. By the way, I'm learning that "average" build/body type means 30 pounds overweight. Is it true for women's profiles, too, guys? Just FYI, I put a lot of energy into staying fit, strong, and healthy. In my eyes, it's not superficial to seek men who take this kind of care of themselves, too.

2. I love it when men 50-70+ are looking for women their age and even older, but some of you say you're seeking to date women who are at least 10-15 years your junior. Is that simply an attraction thing? Or are you ruling out vibrant women your age for some reason I don't understand? Sometimes I write men with this question, and occasionally it leads a man to change his upper limit requirement! Mostly, though, they don't answer.

3. Describe what makes you interesting and unique. Skip the usual "I like moonlight walks on the beach," etc. -- if everyone who said this actually did it, the beaches would be crowded at nighttime, and they're not. Instead, think about the qualities and interests that will attract us and make you stand out from all the other profiles we're reading.

4. I really respect those of you who give me a courtesy of a "no thank you" if I write you first and you're not interested. I see you as polite and compassionate when you write something like "Thank you for writing, but I don't see us as a match. Best wishes...." rather than not answering at all.


Advice for Men When We Meet

1. Be yourself, be truthful, tell me about yourself -- and I'll do the same. That doesn't mean dumping details of your last health exam or therapy session, but take the opportunity to show me who you really are and what matters to you. We're too old to play the I'll-try-to-appear-to-be-who-you-want-me-to-be game.

2. Please also try to learn about me. If you do all the talking and don't ask me any questions, I don't know if it's nervousness or that you don't care who I am. As interesting as you may be, a monologue absolutely rules out a second date.

3. If we've gone out to dinner, I won't assume you'll pay because you're a man -- I'll offer to share the expense. If you prefer to pick up the check, tell me with a smile, and I'll accept with thanks. But please don't make a face, shudder, and tell me how much you hate "women's libbers" who "act like men." No kidding, someone did that recently. He's a very nice man and we had good conversation over dinner, but clearly our values and opinions don't match enough for a second date.

Please, good men, I know you're out there. How do we find you?

Since I'm a straight woman reading men's profiles, this post is slanted to my experience. Help me expand it. I'd love to hear from you about your experiences, likes and dislikes, and pet peeves about the people of any gender whom you meet (or choose not to meet) through online dating. I hope you'll comment!

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Joan's Upcoming Events


I'd love to meet you in person! As events are scheduled, I'll post them here.

If you are interested in having me speak at your event or to your organization, please email me. See more information about my aging and sexuality talks here. (I also speak about fitness -- click here.)

Sunday, August 3, 2014, 1:00 - 4:00 pm, How the Heck Do I Date at This Age? in Sebastopol, CA. You’re ready to connect for dating, sex, love, companionship – but dating as a senior feels awkward and weird. What are the guidelines? How do you navigate online dating, write a cool profile, avoid the pitfalls, and evade the creeps and weirdos? When do you bring up safer sex, your personal sexual issues, or sex at all? Whether you’re widowed, divorced, or a longtime single, you’ll find this interactive workshop illuminating and fun, and you’ll get to find out how other single seniors meet and mate (or try to). All genders and orientations welcome. Free gifts: Blossom Organics and Überlube lubricants, condoms, and more. Bring a notebook, a printout of your online profile if you have one, your questions, and a sense of humor. Bonus hour 4:00 - 5:00: Joan will help you revise your online dating profile. Cost: $40 prepaid by check or PayPal by July 28; $45 July 29-Aug 2.  Location is a private home in Sebastopol -- you'll get the address after you preregister.

Sunday, August 10, 2014, 1:00 - 4:00 pm, Women’s Workshop: Sex after 50 in Sebastopol, CA. Yes, sex after age 50, 60, 70 and beyond has its challenges, but it can be sizzling and satisfying when you have the right information and strategies. We'll address the challenges and celebrate the joys, sharing experiences and learning from each other in a spirit of candor, acceptance, safety, creativity, and humor. Take home new tools, techniques, and attitudes for satisfying, joyful sex—with or without a partner. Learn about favorite sex toys for women our age – Joan has tested them all! Women only, all orientations welcome. Free gifts: Blossom Organics and Überlube lubricants, and more. Bring a notebook, your questions, a spirit of curiosity, and a sense of humor. Bonus hour 4:00 - 5:00: Joan will be available for private consultations. Cost: $40 prepaid by check or PayPal by Aug. 4; $45 Aug. 5 - 9. Location is a private home in Sebastopol -- you'll get the address after you preregister.

Can’t decide which workshop to take? Take them both for $75 if you register and prepay before July 28.


CatalystCon - Sparking Communication in sexuality, activism and acceptance.Thursday, Sept. 11 - Sunday, Sept. 14, 2014: CatalystCon West at Westin Los Angeles Airport, 5400 West Century Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90045. In Senior Sex: Lusting, Dating, and Mating, Joan Price shares what Boomers, seniors, and elders tell and ask her. She interweaves her own personal stories, from finding love in later life, to dealing with grief, learning how to date all over again, and re-emerging as a sexual being. For levity, Joan shares some of the oddest dating stories she’s been told. You don’t have to be a senior to learn from and enjoy this presentation!


Sunday, Sept. 14, 6-8 pm: The 5 Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging at The Pleasure Chest LA, 7733 Santa Monica Blvd, West Hollywood, CA 90046. Joan Price, author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, shatters the myths and shares the most common questions that Boomers, seniors, and elders ask her. She’ll answer those questions, too—in the candid, upbeat manner that led the media to dub her “senior sexpert.” Free!


Friday, Sept. 19 - Saturday, Sept. 20, 2014, 4th Annual Sexuality, Intimacy & Aging Conference at Widener University, Chester, PA. In Sure, Ask Me Anything: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, Joan Price shares the questions that Boomers, seniors, and elders ask her. A medical issue that interferes with sexual enjoyment? Boredom with a partner? Dating woes? How to choose sex toys that work with arthritic wrists and slow arousal? Most questions are deeply moving pleas for help about issues that often are not shared with their doctors, therapists, or even life partners. Conference presented by the  Sexuality and Aging Consortium. More details coming soon.


Sunday, October 5, 2014, 10:30 am. Joan Price shares “The Five Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging” at the Oakmont Symposium, East Recreation Center, 7902 Oakmont Drive, Santa Rosa, CA. Open to Oakmont residents and invited guests.


Friday, October 17 - Sunday, October 19, 2014free sex and aging workshops with Joan Price at Smitten Kitten, 3010 Lyndale Ave S., Minneapolis, MN 55408, 612-721-6088. Schedule:
  • Fri, Oct. 17, 6:30 - 8:30 pm, Lusting, Dating and Mating for all ages! This one is not just for the over-50 crowd. Mixer follows!
  • Sat, Oct 18, 6:30 - 8:30 pm, Ask Me, I’ll Tell You: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex.
  • Sun, Oct 19, 6:30 - 8:30 pm, Talking About Senior Sex (a presentation for medical professionals).
(schedule updated July 24, 2014)



Radio, TV, Internet Radio interviews: Online Now


Huffington Post Live panel: How Women Post-50 Embrace Their Bare Sexuality, June 3, 2014.


Huffington Post Live panel: Great Sex after 50


Huffington Post Live panel: How old is too old for sex?




The Sex and Coffee crew talk with Joan Price about seniors and sex. Hear Joan interviewed by Jennifer Pritchett of Smitten Kitten here.


Have More Sex And Improve Your Sexless Marriage With These Tips from Joan Price via Huffington Post. This was part of a panel discussion that aired live on April 2, 2013.





Sex Out Loud with Tristan Taormino, Mar. 1, 2013. Tristen and Joan discuss sex and aging, the challenges of menopause, losing a partner, erotica, and much more. Listen here.


Savage Love podcast with Dan Savage, Feb. 26, 2013. Dan and Joan discuss advice for a woman whose aging and relationship challenges stop her from enjoying sex with her husband. Listen here.



KRON 4 TV's Henry Tenenbaum interviews Joan about how bodies, sex, and libido change, and asks Joan a dating question.






Ageless Sexuality. Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross interview Joan Price about how sex changes as you age, what we can look forward to, and making this a time for breaking rules and discovering your own sexual fluidity. Hear the lively and outrageous podcast here


After Dark Radio Show with Ande Lyons. Aging doesn’t diminish desire – attitude does! Sensuality Coach Lori Bryant-Woolridge and Ageless Sexuality Advocate Joan Price share how to stay sensually and sexually tuned in and turned on at any age! March 19, 2013. Listen here. (Joan's segment starts 31 minutes in.)


Sex City: The wicked world of sex from award-winning sex journalist Jon Pressick, including interviews with Carol Queen, Joan Price and Hugo Schwyzer, March 20, 2013. Listen here


Morning Blend on TODAY'S TMJ4, Milwaukee, October 3, 2011.  View the interview here.



Hot Sox: Sex and Aging. Sex educator Jamye Waxman interviews pro-aging sexpert Joan Price about a myriad of senior sex topics and and, yes, about her personal life -- you'll learn a lot! Read Jamye's summary and get links to the podcast here, or listen directly here.


Joyful, Authentic Living: The Joy of Ageless Sex. San Rafael, CA therapist David Pittle, PhD interviews Joan Price about senior sex stereotypes, educating doctors about senior sexuality, and more. Listen here.


 "Sex After 60" on the Colin McEnroe Show on NPR's WNPR, Connecticut, with guests Joan Price and Dr. Rafael Wurzel. Hear the podcast here.


Playboy Radio's The Tiffany Granath Show (Sirus XM), July 31, 2012, features Joan Price talking about senior sex and answering listener questions.


Love, Lust and Laughter: Therapist Diana Wiley interviews Joan Price frequently on her radio show. On August 1, 2012, they talked about many senior sex topics, from BDSM and the popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey (and the problems with the book) to how silliness can enhance intimacy.

Afentra's Big Fat Morning Buzz: Joan Price has been a frequent guest on on KRBZ's morning drive show in Kansas City, talking about -- what else? -- senior sex.

Love Letters Live: Janet Gallin interviews Joan about her love story with artist Robert Rice: how they met, how Joan pursued Robert, and how they finally fell in love. Love Letters Live promotes the idea of writing love letters (and mailing them!) to support or thank someone, or set things straight. Hear this interview here.

The Lovely Truth About Aging and Sex. Hear Joan interviewed by Wendy Strgar at Care2.com in a candid conversation about how sex lives and intimate relationships can change and heal us over time.

Growing Bolder: It's Not About Age; It's About Attitude. Part of Growing Bolder is being able to talk about anything. Even sex! When Joan Price wrote "Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex," she knew she might get some raised eyebrows. But she's determined to battle against stereotypes that people over 50 are asexual or even uninterested in sexual relationships. Hear Joan's interview here.

Psychotherapist Dr. Diana Wiley interviewed Joan on Love, Lust, and Laughter several times. Hear the first interview here and the second here.


WebTalkRadio: Ageless sexuality advocate Joan Price addresses the challenges of older age sex with Laurie Handlers on Sex and Happiness.  Laurie asks Joan about body image, lubrication, sex toys, grief, and more. Hear this revealing, hour-long interview here.

BlogTalkRadio. Dr. Veronica Anderson hosts "Sex And The Senior Citizen." Baby boomers are not through revolutionizing our society. Now, as they start to become seniors, they are taking along their expectations of an active, fulfilling sex life. Guests include Joan Price, author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty. Listen  here.


Recently completed events:

Thursday, June 19 - Saturday, June 21, 2014free sex and aging workshops with Joan Price at Smitten Kitten, 3010 Lyndale Ave S., Minneapolis, MN 55408, 612-721-6088. Schedule:
  • Thurs., June 19th, 6:30 - 8:30 pm, Talking About Senior Sex (a presentation for medical professionals)
  • Fri., June 20th, 6:30 - 8:30 pm, Ask Me, I’ll Tell You: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex
  • Sat., June 21st, 6:30 - 8:30 pm, Lusting, Dating and Mating After Fifty

April 11-13, 2014Full Circle - the Art & Heart of Aging, a weekend festival in Burlington, VT. Full Circle is all about busting wide open the myths about aging and celebrating the journey to elderhood. The festival includes dance, theatre, art, comedy, music, and film as well as physical activities and interactive experiences, discussions, and workshops. .


April 23, 2014, Pleasure Chest New York - Upper East Side, 1150 2nd Ave, NY, NY 10065,  6-8 pm. Sex after 50 with Joan Price. Yes, sex after 50 has its challenges, but it can also be hot and joyful. We'll celebrate the joys and tackle the problems of older-age sexuality, sharing experiences and learning from each other in a spirit of candor, acceptance, and plenty of humor. Take home new tools, techniques, and attitudes to help you experience sizzling and satisfying sex --with or without a partner! If you are 50 and above--or you plan to be--here’s everything you wanted to know. (All genders & orientations welcome.) Free!

November 1, 2013, "Getting Your Mojo Back: Sex Tips for Women over 50." Is your sex life dull, predictable, unsatisfying, nonexistent? Yes, sex after fifty has its challenges, but it can also sizzle. Joan Price offers new information, tools, and tips that help women over fifty maintain or regain a healthy, satisfying sex life – with or without a partner.presented by Joan Price and Remi Newman, Women's Night Out, Kaiser Permanente, 401 Bicentennial Way, Santa Rosa, CA Medical Building East, Conference Rooms E-3, E-4, E-5.


Nov. 8, 2013, 7 - 9 pm,  How the Heck Do I Date at This Age? at Smitten Kitten, 3010 Lyndale Ave S., Minneapolis, MN 55408, (612) 721-6088. You’re ready to connect for dating, sex, love, companionship – but dating at our age feels awkward and downright weird. What are the guidelines? Joan Price helps you navigate online dating, evade the creeps and weirdos, and avoid the pitfalls that send potential dates running in the other direction. When do you bring up safer sex, your personal sexual issues, or sex at all? Whether you’re newly solo or a longtime single, you’ll find this interactive workshop illuminating and fun, and you’ll get to find out how other single Boomers and seniors meet and mate (or try to). All genders and orientations welcome; sense of humor helpful. Free!

Nov. 10, 2013, 2-4 pm, Ask Me, I'll Tell You: Talking Out Loud about Sex and Aging, at Smitten Kitten, 3010 Lyndale Ave S., Minneapolis, MN 55408, (612) 721-6088. We’re talking about senior sex—the challenges, the pleasures, and all the questions we didn't think we could ask out loud. What arouses us now, when the old ways aren't working like they used to? What do we wish we understood and could communicate better about our changing bodies and responses? How do we spice up our sexual repertoire? What if we don't have a partner? What if we don't feel desire for sex anymore? In this eye opening, interactive, mixed-gender workshop, you’ll get to voice your questions and get answers. Joan Price guides the conversation and discovery, and offers tips for putting the zest back into later-life sexuality. For singles and couples, all genders and orientations. Free!



Photo
This Soiree isn't just for young'uns!

Steamy Sonoma CountyNovember 15, 2013, 8:30 pm. Naughty November Nights: An Erotic Literary Soiree. Join us for an evening of erotic poems and stories by local authors. Get ready to be teased, titillated and tempted.  Gaia’s Garden, 1899 Mendocino Avenue, Santa Rosa. Featuring Joan Price, Jennie Orvino, Bill Noble, Ruth Hoppe, Pink Lady, Ray Hoey, Michael Larrain, Arnoldo Levine, Daingerous Dollie, Feral Fox, and a special musical performance by Violet Streak.


CatalystCon West '13September 27- 29, 2013, “The 5 Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging” at CatalystCon West at the Warner Center Marriott, 21850 Oxnard Street, Woodland Hills, CA 91367. Joan Price shatters the myths and shares the most common questions that Boomers, seniors, and elders ask her. Joan shares the concerns that older adults raise about their changing sexuality, the challenges that they face, and the misconceptions that hamper their sexual enjoyment. Throughout the session, you’ll learn tips and strategies for working with older adults and ways to address this age group about their sexual issues.

Sept. 11, 2013, 7 - 8:30 pm, Ask Me, I'll Tell You: Women and Men Talk Out Loud about Sex and Aging, at Smitten Kitten, 3010 Lyndale Ave S., Minneapolis, MN 55408, (612) 721-6088. [see recent listing for details of this workshop.]


Sept. 12, 2013, 6:30 - 8 pm How the Heck Do I Date at This Age? at Smitten Kitten, 3010 Lyndale Ave S., Minneapolis, MN 55408, (612) 721-6088. [see recent listing for details of this workshop.]

August 3, 2013, 6:30 - 8:30 pmHot August Nights: A Literary Erotic Soiree. Join us for an evening of erotic readings by local authors. Get ready to be teased, titillated and tempted. Tickets are $10 cash only at the door with a chance to win fabulous raffle prizes. This is an 18 and over event. Coffee Catz, 6761 Sebastopol Ave # 300, Sebastopol, California 95404.


June 8, 2013, 3:30-5:30, "Sex and Aging Out Loud" at the annual conference of American Association of Sexuality Educators Counselors & Therapists (AASECT), Hilton Miami Downtown, Miami, Florida. Presenter: Joan Price, MA. This session focuses on the challenges, delights, and shudders that come with writing and speaking about “senior sex.” Participants will discuss concerns that Boomers, seniors, and elders raise about their changing sexuality: the questions they ask, the challenges they face, and the misconceptions that hamper their sexual enjoyment. Throughout the workshop the presenter will offer tips and strategies for older adults and ways to address this age group about their sexual issues.


June 18, 2013, 11 am - 12:30 pm, Joan Price talks about senior sex to clinicians, Department of Psychiatry Grand Rounds, Kaiser Permanente Santa Rosa. What did her Naked at Our Age  interviewees, age 50-80+, express about their changing sexual needs, problems, and fears? Joan will identify the five major sexual concerns that seniors may be reluctant to share with their medical providers, yet that impact their health and quality of life. We'll formulate practical questions that will elicit essential sexual information, and discuss resources.

May 30, 2013Audies Awards Gala, New York City. The Audible.com audiobook edition of Naked at Our Age, read by Suzanne Toren, is a finalist for an Audie (the Oscars of audiobooks) in the Personal Development category!

May 18, 2013 10 am -12:30 pm, “Ask Me, I'll Tell You: Women and Men Talk Out Loud about Sex and Aging for couples and singles. At Kama Sutra Closet,  451 E. Main Street, #6, Ventura, CA 93001. [see recent listing for details of this workshop.]

May 18, 2013, 1-4 pm, “Never Too Late! 5 Best Tips for Dating at Our Age” for singles. At Kama Sutra Closet,  451 E. Main Street, #6, Ventura, CA 93001. Joan Price gives us the new rules of dating at our age and tips for finding that special person. Her upbeat presentation will make you laugh and send you home with new hope -- and a new plan!

The Pleasure Chest - Los Angeles
May 19, 2013, 2-4:30 pm : “Sex after 50” at The Pleasure Chest, 7733 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA 90046. [see recent listing for details of this workshop.]

May 20, 2013, 9-10:30 am: staff training at The Pleasure Chest, 7733 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA 90046.

May 20, 2013, 6-8 pm: Book Release Party: “3 Senior Sex Books that will change your life!” PLUS “The Five Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging” at The Pleasure Chest, 7733 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA 90046. : Joan Price shatters the myths and shares the most common questions that Boomers, seniors, and elders ask her. You’ll be surprised! Yes, she’ll answer those questions, too -- in the candid, upbeat manner that led the media to dub her “senior sexpert.” Presented by Joan Price, http://www.joanprice.com/, author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex and Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty, and editor of the senior sex anthology, Ageless Erotica.


May 5, 2013, 4 pm,  Center for Sex and Culture1349 Mission St., San Francisco CA (between 9th and 10th ). What would it look like if talented writers over age 50 wrote erotica featuring steamy, sexy characters who were also over 50? Ageless Erotica is a ground-breaking anthology of erotic short stories and memoir essays presenting women and men, couples and singles, straight and gay, who are over 50, 60, 70, and beyond – all enjoying and sharing their erotic moments. Contributors Dale Chase, Linda Poelzl, Dorothy Freed, Donna George Storey, and Susan St. Aubin join Joan Price, Ageless Erotica editor, reading excerpts and discussing the idea of "senior erotica."




Apr. 23, 2013, 6-8 pm: Sex after 50. Workshop with Joan Price at The Pleasure Chest, 156 Seventh Avenue South, New York, NY 10014. [see recent listing for details of this workshop.]


Senior Planet: Aging with AttitudeApr. 24, 2013, 6-7:30 pm. “The 5 Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging.” Joan Price speaks at Senior Planet Exploration Center, 127 W. 25th Street, New York, NY 10001, between 6th and 7th Avenues. Joan Price, http://www.joanprice.com, author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, shatters the myths and shares the most common questions that Boomers, seniors, and elders ask her. You’ll be surprised! Yes, she’ll answer those questions, too -- in the candid, upbeat manner that led the media to dub her “senior sexpert.” 


April 27, 2013, Joan Price is a panelist in "So You Want to Write for Huffington Post" at Fire Up Your Writing Career, April 25-27, 2013, the annual conference of  the American Society of Journalists and Authors, Roosevelt Hotel, New York City.


Apr. 27, 2013, 7 pm, Bluestockings bookstore, fair trade cafe, and activist center, 172 Allen Street between Stanton and Rivington, New York, NY 10002. What happens when writers over 50 write steamy senior erotica? Ageless Erotica is a ground-breaking anthology of erotic short stories and memoir essays featuring sexy characters over 50, 60, 70 and beyond – straight, gay, partnered, solo -- written by well-seasoned erotica writers. D.L. King, Tsaurah Litzky, Rae Padilla Francoeur, Audrienne Roberts Womack, Erobintica (Robin Sampson), Nancy Weber, Erica Manfred, and Joan Price read excerpts from Ageless Erotica and discuss the idea of “senior erotica.” Free!

April 14, 2013, 2 pm - 5 pm: Sex after Fifty: A Workshop for Women at Good Vibrations, 1620 Polk Street (at Sacramento Street) San Francisco, CA 94109. [see recent listing for details of this workshop.]

March 15-17, 2013: Joan Price speaks on Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex at CatalystConEast at Crystal City Marriott at Reagan Airport,1999 Jefferson Davis Highway, Arlington, Virginia 22202. Joan Price shares her spicy and often humorous experiences as an advocate for senior sexuality. She talks frankly about the most interesting, surprising, and provocative questions and concerns that seniors raise about their sexuality, along with the special challenges and satisfactions of blogging/talking/writing about senior sex.


February 7, 2013, 6-7:30 pm: Never Too Late for Love! Joan Price, www.joanprice.com, met her great love when she was 57 and he was 64. The passion and depth of their later-life relationship led her to write Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty and Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex. Joan gives us the new rules of dating at our age and tips for finding that special person. Her upbeat presentation will make you laugh and send you home with new hope -- and a new plan! Rosewood Gardens, 35 Fenton St., Livermore, CA 94550. Plan to stay afterwards to socialize.Adult children of residents especially invited -- free! PLEASE NOTE: CANCELLED due to illnesses at venue -- will reschedule. Let me know if you want me to notify you.


February 12, 2013: Tips for Better Sex – Whether You’re Partnered or Not! Newcomers Club of Sonoma County, Fountaingrove Golf & Country Club, Santa Rosa, CA. How can you make sex better, whether you’re in a relationship or solo? Learn tips for all ages from young adults to seniors from senior sexpert Joan Price, www.joanprice.com, author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex and Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty. Joan’s upbeat, candid, often humorous talk will send you home with new ideas and new things to try!


February 26, 2013, 4:30-5 pm ET: Joan Price Skypes with Sandy Caron's graduate course in sexuality, Human Sexuality College of Education and Human Development, University of Maine. Joan talks about Naked at Our Age and answers student questions.


November 10, 2012, 1:30-5 pm, How the Heck Do I Date at This Age? in Santa Rosa, CA. [see recent listing for details of this workshop.]


November 11, 2012, 1:30-5 pm, workshop: Ask Me, I'll Tell You: Women and Men Talk Out Loud about Sex and Aging in Santa Rosa, CA. [see recent listing for details of this workshop.]




November 17, 2012, 9 pm: The 5 Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging at San Francisco Regional Mensa's Brilliance by the Bay, Hilton Pleasanton at The Club, 7050 Johnson Drive, Pleasanton, CA 94588-3396. Joan Price, author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, shatters the myths and shares the most common questions that Boomers, seniors, and elders ask her. Yes, she’ll answer those questions, too -- in the candid, upbeat manner that led the media to dub her “senior sexpert.” (They also called her a “wrinkly sex kitten,” but you be the judge of that!) Registered members only.


Sept. 22, 2012, Joan Price speaks at 10 am as part of the daylong Sonoma County Book Festival, Santa Rosa, CA. The Sonoma County Book Festival is a free public event brought to you by The Literary Arts Guild. Our event transforms downtown Santa Rosa into the literary capital of Northern California. Thousands of book lovers return every year for a full day of fun under our welcoming white tents. Our rich programs present nationally acclaimed and locally treasured authors, who inspire and entertain festival attendees of all ages. Schedule here.


August 25, 2012, 1:30-4:30 pm, workshop: Ask Me, I'll Tell You: Women and Men Talk Out Loud about Sex and Aging in Santa Rosa, CA . [see recent listing for details of this workshop.]



Sept. 14-16, 2012, Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex at CatalystCon at the Hilton Long Beach & Executive Meeting Center, 701 West Ocean Blvd, Long Beach, CA 90831. Joan Price shares her spicy and often humorous experiences as an advocate for senior sexuality. She talks frankly about the most interesting, surprising, and provocative questions and concerns that seniors raise about their sexuality, along with the special challenges and satisfactions of blogging/talking/writing about senior sex. You’ll learn how a couple of shock jocks tried to close down the “old lady sex blog,” how Joan’s commitment to raising important and unnerving topics led to her appearance on ABC News Nightline, and what her 1961 classmates said to her at her 50th high school reunion.


Sunday, August 19, 2012, 1:30-4:30 pm, How the Heck Do I Date at This Age? in Santa Rosa, CA. [see recent listing for details of this workshop.]

August 23, 2012, New York City. Free abbreviated version of Joan Price's workshop, Ask Me, I'll Tell You: Women and Men Talk Out Loud about Sex and Aging (description below). The workshop will be free to you and filmed for a national cable television special about senior sex-- attendees will be on camera. See details here.


June 9, 2012, 4:45-5:45 pm. Synergy: innovation. sexuality. tradition, 44th annual conference of American Association of Sexuality Educators Counselors & Therapists (AASECT), Austin, Texas. Joan Price, MA, presents "Blogging about Sex to Attract Clients and Media." This workshop will give participants the knowledge and tools to start blogging about their niche area of sexuality with the purpose of attracting new clients and, if desired, the media. Blogging is an easy way to attract potential clients, increase your credibility as a sex educator, position yourself as a media resource, claim your niche area of sexuality and get your news and views on the Internet for your audience to read. But what and how should you blog? Once your blog is running, how do you reach your audience? This session answers these questions and offers hands-on instructions for getting started.


..May 9, 2012, 12:30-3 pm. Joan Price talks about healthy later life sexuality, hosted by Aging Explorers, Osher Lifelong Learning Institute (OLLI) of San Francisco State University, downtown campus, 835 Market St., Room 609, San Francisco, CA. Joan Price's talks and books delight audiences, who enjoy her sassy attitude and straight‐talking style. With irresistible enthusiasm she tackles all the outdated expectations and promotes new ways to celebrate sexuality throughout the later years. We can learn a lot from the shared stories she presents in her book, and follows up with tips from sex therapists, health professionals, counselors, sex educators, and other knowledgeable experts.

April 25, 2012, 7-8:30 pm. Join Best Sex Writing 2012 editor Rachel Kramer Bussel and contributors Ellen Friedrichs, Lynn Harris, Amanda Marcotte, Joan Price, and Rachel Rabbit White reading from their essays about sexuality at Housing Works Bookstore Cafe, 126 Crosby St, New York, NY 10012. Free -- and free cupcakes!


April 28, 2012, 10:45-11:45, Joan Price moderates a panel on Writing About Sex for the American Society of Journalists and Authors annual conference, Roosevelt Hotel, New York City. Whether you write sexual self-help, sex-related nonfiction or erotica, countless online markets and print publishers welcome your sex-themed writing. Successful sex writers share the game rules for pitching, crafting, publishing, and promoting sex-based articles and books. Learn what online article and print book editors are looking for, how to approach them, and how to deliver sex that sells. Joan Price, Moderator; Rae Francoeur, Steph Auteri, Rachel Kramer Bussel. This premier writing conference is open to established writers and new writers, with two days of public sessions. Read about the award Joan will receive at this conference here.


April 28, 2012, 7 pm – Free reading at Bluestockings, 172 Allen Street between Stanton and Rivington, New York City. Senior sex activists Joan Price (www.joanprice.com), author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, and Rae Francoeur (http://raefrancoeur.com), author of Free Fall: A Late-in-Life Love Affair, share their enthusiasm and expertise about sex in later life.


May 3, 2012, 5:30 to 7 pm. SFSU Center for Research & Education on Gender and Sexuality, 835 Market St, Suite 517, San Francisco, CA 94103. Please join us for wine and cheese and a panel conversation on Senior Sexuality with noted author and presenter Joan Price of Naked at Our Age fame, noted sex educator Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations and Dr. Jason Petersen from Advanced Male Medical Center.



March 30 - April 1, 2012, Joan Price speaks about "Senior Sex Out Loud" at MOMENTUM, Washington, DC. Geared toward anyone interested in intelligent conversations about the influence of new media on sexuality, MOMENTUM provides a safe place to listen, discuss and learn about sexualities and gender without the fear of reprisal or shaming.


April 1, 2012, 6-8:30 pm, workshop: Ask Me, I'll Tell You: Women and Men Talk Out Loud about Sex and Aging, at Secret Pleasures, 1510 U Street NW, Washington, D.C. 20009 . [see upcoming listing for details of this workshop.]



Feb. 26, 2012, 1:30-5 pm, How the Heck Do I Date at This Age? in Marin County, CA. [see recent listing for details of this workshop.]


March 4, 2012, 12:30-4 pm, How the Heck Do I Date at This Age? at Gaia’s Garden1899 Mendocino Ave., Santa Rosa, CA 95401. [see recent listing for details of this workshop.]



Feb. 9, 2012, 6-9 pm. Osmosis Day Spa Sanctuary in Freestone, CA, hosts a Sex and Romance event with food, wine, and Joan Price sharing Tips for Better Sex -- Whether You're Partnered or Not! at 7 pm and 8 pm. How can you make sex better, whether you’re in a relationship or solo? Learn tips for all ages from teens to seniors from senior sexpert Joan Price, author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex and Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty.


February 11- Sun., February 12, 2012, Joan Price,, author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty and Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, returns to Kama Sutra Closet, 451 E. Main Street, #6, Ventura CA 93001, on Sat., Feb. 11, for two senior sex seminars.


December 18, 2011, 1-4 pm, How the Heck Do I Date at This Age? at Gaia’s Garden1899 Mendocino Ave., Santa Rosa, CA 95401. [see recent listing for details of this workshop.]

Oct. 29, 2011, Ventura, CA: Full day of Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex with Joan Price at Kama Sutra Closet, 451 E. Main Street, #6, Ventura, 10-3, hosted by Kama Sutra Closet. During the day Joan will be Shattering the 5 Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging, conducting a workshop: "Ask Me, I'll Tell You: Women and Men Talk Out Loud about Sex & Aging," and answering audience questions. Singles mixer at end of event, if you want!


September 30, 2011, 9 am-4 pm: ASSECT workshop: Joan Price, Ellen Barnard, and Myrtle Wilhite present Senior Sex: Challenges and Opportunities. We'll learn about the particular issues faced by seniors (60+) regarding sexual health, pleasure and satisfaction, and share strategies on ways to support and enhance rewarding intimacy for everyone as they age.


September 30, 2011, 6:30-7:30, A Room Of One's Own , 307 W Johnson St., Madison,Wisconsin. Senior sex talk, reading, Q and A with Joan Price. A Room of One's Own Feminist Bookstore has been a fixture in downtown Madison, Wisconsin since 1975!

October 1, 2011, Madison, and October 2, 2011, Milwaukee, 11 am-1 pm, A Woman's Touch: How the Heck Do I Date at This Age? [see recent listing for details of this workshop.]

October 1, 2011, Madison, and October 2, 2011, Milwaukee, 2-4 pm, A Woman's Touch: Ask Me, I'll Tell You: Talking Out Loud About Sex, Aging and Relationships: [see recent listing for details of this workshop.]


Sept. 11, 2011, 2:30-5 pm. What I Learned about Book Publicity since 2005. Redwood Writers, Flamingo Hotel, 2777 Fourth Street, Santa Rosa, CA 95405. "I'm convinced that book publicity and self-promotion in this new world has to be targeted at the Internet first,” Joan says. Joan shares her tips for using the Internet wisely and productively for your own book publicity and author promotion.

August 16, 7 pm. The Center for Sex and Culture, 1349 Mission St. between 9th /10th St. (corner of Grace St.). What do boomers and seniors really want to know about later-life sex? What are their challenges, questions, and misconceptions? Joan Price shares the most common, most unusual, and most entertaining questions she hears as she writes and speaks about ageless sexuality – and her answers. "Senior Singles Mixer/ Discussion" follows Joan's talk.

July 30, 2011, 4-5 pm, Book Passage, 51 Tamal Vista Blvd, Corte Madera, CA 94925. Joan Price discusses Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex ($16.95).  Bonus: Single seniors, come to the Book Passage cafe after Joan's Naked at Our Age talk for a mixer!

July 26, 2011, 7 pm., Copperfield's Books, Sebastopol, CA. Joan Price is talking out loud about a subject that is often ignored or ridiculed in our society: later-life sexuality. 


July 15, 2011, 12:30-1:30 pm, 211 Sutter St., San Francisco. "Orgasm Is . . . Not Just for Young'uns! Tips and Tools for Savvy Seniors." Senior sexpert Joan Price, author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, shares candid information and tips for recharging your sex life after 50, 60, and beyond.


July 5, 2011, 7 pm., Barnes and Noble, 82nd and Broadway, New York City. Joan Price  shatters the myths about senior sex and reads from Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex. More details here.


July 6, 2011, 1:30-3 pm, Hudson Guild, 119 Ninth Ave, New York City. "Let's Talk about Sexuality at Our Age!" Joan Price and Rae Francoeur share their enthusiasm and expertise about sex in later life. Joan is the author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex. Rae is the author of Free Fall: A Late-in-Life Love Affair




July 7, 2011, 7-9 pm, Babeland - SoHo, 43 Mercer St., New York, NY 10013. "Let's Talk about Senior Sex!" Joan Price and Rae Francoeur share their enthusiasm and expertise about sex in later life. Joan is the author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex. Rae is the author of Free Fall: A Late-in-Life Love Affair. (Yes, this is the same topic as our Hudson Guild event, but since we're talking at Babeland, it will be racier, with sex toy recommendations and more!)



July 9, 2011, 3-4 pm. Joan speaks at her 50th Ithaca High School reunion, at the pavilion at Stewart Park, Ithaca, New York. Talking Out Loud about Sex -- Yes, at Our Age with Joan (Kassman) Price. Who imagined that our shy and diminutive Joanie Kassman (now Joan Price) would be known at age 67 as a "senior sexpert"! “You didn’t vote for me as class treasurer, so I had to get your attention somehow,” says Joan, who is the author of two books on sex and aging.


July 10, 2011, 3-4 pm, Buffalo Street Books, in DeWitt Mall on Buffalo St between Cayuga and Tioga, Ithaca, NY. Joan Price, Ithaca native and author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty and Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, shatters the “5 Biggest Myths about Sex after Fifty” and shares the most common questions that Boomers, seniors, and elders asked her while she was researching her new book.

June 19, 2011, 3-5 pm, workshop: Ask Me, I'll Tell You: Women and Men Talk Out Loud about Sex and Aging. Good Vibrations, 1620 Polk Street (at Sacramento Street), San Francisco, CA 94109. [see upcoming listing for details of this workshop.]


June 4, 4:30-5:30. Senior Sex at Gaia’s Garden, 1899 Mendocino Avenue, Santa Rosa, CA 95401. No, we won’t be doing it – we’ll be talking about it with Joan Price, local author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex. Joan will shatter the “5 Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging” and share the most common questions that Boomers, seniors, and elders ask her. Yes, she’ll answer those questions, too -- in the candid, upbeat manner that led the media to dub her “senior sexpert.” (The Bohemian also called her a “wrinkly sex kitten,” but you be the judge of that!)  Enjoy a wholesome and delicious meal at Gaia’s Garden, voted the Best Vegetarian Restaurant by readers of The Bohemian.


(schedule updated July 24, 2014)

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Has society's view of senior sex changed? Question for my readers

7/17/14 update: I originally wrote this post October 2012. At that time, it seemed to me that our society's attitudes towards senior sexuality were finally starting to shift. When I began writing and speaking about the this topic in 2005, I was a rare voice talking publicly about this subject. In the past couple of years, I think we've made gigantic strides. A large -- and loud! -- community of sex educators, writers, workshop presenters, therapists, and sex-positive seniors are shattering the ageist sexual myths that our society accepted for generations, such as that our aging bodies have an expiration date when it comes to sexual pleasure. What do you think?

Do you think that senior sex is now accepted, even celebrated, compared to five or ten years ago? I hope you'll comment here.

Sometimes I really feel we're changing society's view of aging and sexuality -- other times, I wonder if I'm deluded because I surround myself with open-minded, sex-positive people who  applaud my ideas and communicate similar messages to their followers.

Sometimes I get so caught up in the momentum of the world I want to live in that I think we've already achieved it -- but have we?

Are we just a small (but loud!) part of a society that still sees sexually exuberant seniors as laughable? Or are things really changing?

When my first senior sex book, Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty came out in 2006, it caused quite a stir in the media because it celebrated the joys of senior sex and included details of what was hot about sex after 60. (My personal favorite moment in that book is the nail-filing section -- I love the smiles I see from women when I read that part aloud during a speech!)

Then I wrote Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex (2011) to address the challenges that prevent sex at our age from being as spicy and fulfilling as it can be. This book has won two major awards and is used and recommended by therapists and sex educators. I'm proud and grateful to all the people who contributed to that book.

Now I'm interviewed a lot and invited to speak at conferences and other gatherings. It really feels like I'm living in a world that recognizes that our sexuality is lifelong and ageless, and no matter what else is happening in our lives -- medically, emotionally, partnered or not -- we are capable of this pleasure. 

I hope you'll post a comment so that this topic can become a discussion rather than one woman's monologue --or her wishful thinking!

Friday, July 04, 2014

62-year-old Woman Seeks Man for Sex


Lucy, age 62
Lucy, a 62-year-old woman from Santa Fe, NM, wrote to me:

Joan—I’m bisexual and have always loved sex with men. Unfortunately as I age, I find men in my age group don’t have much interest in getting right to sex -- they just want to “date”—interminably. 

If there were just places where a woman could safely buy a man’s time, tell him what she wants, and then complete the transaction I would totally do that. I did find Cowboys4Angels, which advertises "Straight Male Escorts For Women," but the closest one is in Las Vegas.

Am I crazy? Why is it men can buy sex anywhere but women have to "date"? And yeah, I know I’m old, but I’ve been asking this question for decades. I don’t want the man, I want the fucking (and I swear this is a legit letter). Please answer. 


I went first to my colleagues and followers on my Naked at Our Age Facebook page, where I can always count on a community willing to share knowledge, opinions, and experiences. Here are some of their suggestions:

One reader wrote, "I've heard men from Rentboy.com -- which is a gay male service -- say they either happily take female customers already, or they would be happy to take female customers."

Headshot of sex educator and presenter Sabrina Morgan
Sabrina Morgan
Sabrina Morgan, sex and dating coach and sex workers' rights advocate, agrees. "Contacting a guy on Rentboy.com and asking if he's comfortable with female clients is a great first step, as is looking for straight male escort directories. There's ConciergeDuMonde.com, which has several reputable independents."


Hercules Liotard
How do you find an escort? "If you do a web search for 'straight male escorts' or (although I hate the term) 'gigolos' and the closest large city, you will get various agencies and independent providers that will come up in your area," suggests Hercules Liotard, The Pleasure Coach.

You said you wanted full-on partner sex, but if you or other readers would enjoy an erotic, intimate massage (highly recommended, as you'll read in Naked at Our Age!), check out providers like Hercules, who is based in Los Angeles. Search "intimate massage" and your city to find a provider near you.

Whether you're hiring an intimate massage practitioner or an escort, Hercules has this advice about safety:

The number one key factor for women who hire men for sex is the trust factor. Is this person safe? When talking with the women I work with, this comes up almost every time in the conversation. They chose me because my site was inviting and interesting. I answered their questions and concerns in advance and did not try to rush them into an appointment. I had reviews and a good standing in the community, and that all made them feel safe.

So I would say that any woman should look for these same qualities when contacting anyone. Shop around!  

Photo Credit: Peter Hellberg
Pamela Madsen
Pamela Madsen, Sex and Intimacy Coach and Co-Director of Back to The Body: Sensuous Retreats for Women, shared these thoughts:

Many women work with Sacred Intimates, Escorts or Sexological Body Workers. It's not so underground anymore! The rules for sexual interaction change from man to man and practice to practice. Sexological Body workers can provide an amazing experience for women who want to experience one-way touch in a very safe environment with boundaries. Women who are looking for two-way touch experiences such as intercourse and oral sex would be better served by working with a Sacred Intimate or an Escort.

No matter who a woman chooses to work with, it's important for her to find out the practitioner's boundaries, STD status, and get references -- as well as find out about pricing ahead of time. Many female sex coaches, like myself, work with men who work erotically with women, and can provide direction and referrals.

Do you have to hire someone if you want a sexual encounter? No. You can find casual sex online with like-minded partners without hiring a professional. Craigslist has a personals ads category titled "Casual Encounters."  (Yes, there's a Sante Fe section, Lucy.) Some of the ads are pretty raunchy, others are straightforward ("looking for..."), and some are quite plaintive ("not much sex from my partner no matter how much energy I put out"). You can search by age if you wish.

Personally, I'd feel nervous and vulnerable using Craigslist for a casual encounter, because you don't know anything about the person placing the ad, but clearly most people do get the results they want, or it wouldn't be as popular as it is. Do I sound unnecessarily cautious, readers?

Sometimes approaching a man whom you meet in your daily life can lead to an interesting and satisfying connection. Seth, a man of our age, emailed me to share his experience:

My casual sex partner is a lady who walked up to me while eating dinner at a restaurant and asked if I could give her a ride home. Wonderful conversation, and when I dropped her off, she asked if I wanted to come in. Conversation continued, and when I got up to leave, she asked if I would like to stay. I did.

We have both continued our connection. It's very straightforward. She calls and asks if I would like some loving. There are times I'll say no. Both of our needs get met. We don't discuss our connection with anyone. So delightful to walk in with sex  on both of our minds. Clothes come flying off. We both enjoy our sexuality. Then we both go back to running our businesses.

What didn't work is a woman who sat down next to me and started a conversation that made it clear she was hitting on me. "Gigolo?" she asked. That felt strange to me and I didn't pursue that line of conversation.

A reader who wishes to remain unnamed recommends AdultFriendFinder.com,a huge sex site with 55 million members that aims to help you find "worldwide sex dates, adult matches, hookups and fuck friends." My reader says,

I was 61 when I started "playing" with AdultFriendFinder. But, of course, you have to be very good at vetting the men who e-mail you. If you do a good job of vetting, you will find that there are a lot of very nice men on there who want to give a woman pleasure, as well as getting their own pleasure, with no strings attached.  

Also, you can find no strings attached sex on some of the free regular dating sites, such as Plenty of Fish and OKCupid. One of the interesting things is that there are so many younger men who are looking for older women. On POF, I found a 31-year-old with whom I had a 4-month dalliance, until he found a woman he wanted to marry, then he broke it off with me. He was very sweet.  

I asked several of the younger men who e-mailed me why they were interested in a woman who is so much older than they are. They all gave pretty much the same reasons: "Older women don't play games. Older women know how to please a man. Older women are comfortable in their bodies." Yup, we are hot stuff!

"Hot stuff" indeed! Let us know how your quest turns out, Lucy!


I welcome your comments, but I do not permit solicitation or attempts to draw my readers to sites for porn, escorts, or any retail sites I have not vetted. If you wish to advertise on this blog to reach our sex-positive seniors, email me. Don't try to submit a comment aiming to get free advertising for a site I haven't approved. It won't work, and it makes me extremely cranky.